


fake dads club

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Draco and Harry being idiots, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-20 20:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18532444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: or, Draco and Harry are mistaken for two parents on a family outing with their two sons and now they refuse to let it go.





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since the events of Halloween the year before, there had been an attempt at a friendship between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. “Attempt” being the operative word, here - although their most recent outings had been a lot less awkward with the addition of their two sons, who were fresh out of Hogwarts for their term break.

Their quiet, polite discussions over coffee during Harry’s lunch breaks had quickly turned into lively and warm conversations punctuated by the two teenage boys at their feet. There was just something about seeing his son with Albus Potter that brought an irrepressible warmth to Draco’s soul. They lit up in each other’s presence and it was the most wonderful thing. 

One such outing saw them squeeze into a booth of a cafe in Muggle London, as the crowds of staring witches and wizards in Diagon Alley had proved incredibly detrimental to their sincere efforts at having a relatively quiet and enjoyable shopping trip. It was a tacky looking place. The sign, which noncommittally announced the cafe as “Tom’s Cafe”, seemed inches away from falling apart and the blackboard on the pavement featured a crude drawing of a coffee mug drinking coffee out of - you guessed it - another coffee mug.

But Harry insisted the food was delicious, with Albus backing him up (they’d been there together, once) and Draco had eventually relented.

As Scorpius scanned the menu, with Albus at his side pointing out his favourite dishes, Draco lifted a hand and beckoned the waitress to their table. The boys didn’t seem to be ready to order just yet, but he needed a coffee and, with one glance over at Harry, he made a note to order two.

“What can I get for you, sir?”

“One long black. And a flat white,” he listed off his and Harry’s regular orders, before glancing over at the two teenagers. “And some water for the table. We haven’t decided on meals yet.”

The waitress took down his order and left the table with a knowing smile, which Draco had no time to decipher before his attention was pulled back to the two boys.

“I’ve never had an avocado before. Let alone a  _smashed_  one,” Scorpius explained, still pouring over the menu. “They’re those green things, aren’t they? Sort of shaped like a pear, except ugly?”

“Hey, some of my best friends are avocados,” Harry admonished from his seat next to Draco, who was still trying to get used to the Boy-Who-Lived’s bizarre sense of humour. Albus called them dad jokes. Draco didn’t know what to call them. “And, yes, they are those green things. But I think you and Albus should get the ‘Colossal’.”

“The what?” Draco queried, searching the menu and scowling when he found the aforementioned monstrosity. “But this is all ice cream. Look at it, it takes up half the page.”

Harry leaned over and peered at the menu. “It’s notall ice cream. See - there’s pancakes underneath.”

There was, in fact, a slither of a pancake buried underneath all the ice cream - if Draco squinted. “They’re not having this. They’ll be up all night.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. How about a bowl of chips to share?”

“Hardly a balanced diet,” Draco paused, looking up as the waitress returned to the table with their coffees and a jug of water. “My apologies, we’re still deciding.”

“Take your time,” she replied, the smile growing on her face. “I just wanted to say that you make  _such_ a lovely family.”

Harry spluttered next to him, almost choking on his coffee, and Draco stared after the waitress in bewildered silence as she returned to the kitchen.

“She thinks we’re a family?” Albus questioned from across the table. Scorpius was giggling next to him, although Albus seemed none too pleased.

Harry grinned. “I thought we were? Here I was, thinking we were having a lovely lunch as a family, just you and Scorpius and your good old dads.” He looked over at Draco and suddenly winced, raising a hand to wave away his words. “Sorry. Sorry, that was inappropriate. I’ll correct her when she comes back.”

She did return to the table once they were ready to order, but Draco cut Harry off before he’d even had a chance to speak. “The boys will have grilled cheese sandwiches with a side of hash browns. I’ll be having the eggs florentine. And how about you, dear?”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline, but he eventually schooled his expression and smiled up at the waitress, slinging a casual arm over Draco’s shoulder. “I’ll have the full English breakfast, please, but hold the bangers. And a round of apple pie sundaes for dessert,” he paused and winked at Draco. “If you don’t mind, snookums?”

Draco gave him a sickly sweet smile. “Why not.”

“Oh my god,” Albus groaned, sinking under the table with his hands over his face.“ _Oh my god._ ”

 

* * *

 

Lunches and other outings became a fast tradition with Harry, Draco, Scorpius, and Albus over the Summer holidays. The boys were determined to spend as much time together as possible and Harry and Draco were surprised to find that they didn’t mind each other’s company either.

The incident in the Muggle cafe had become somewhat of a running joke between them. They were in constant competition to see who could outdo the other while they were in London, whether in cheesy pet names or annoying their sons - the latter being their absolute favourite.

Albus himself was thoroughly embarrassed at every turn, scowling up at his father and admonishing his best friend’s encouragement of their exploits. Scorpius, on the other hand, thought the whole situation was hilarious and he was delighted by the opportunity to heal previous wounds and become closer to  _the_  Harry Potter.

Unbeknown to Scorpius, Draco had shown Harry photographs of him wearing round glasses and a crudely drawn lightning scar on his forehead when he was five. Harry didn’t know whether he was more embarrassed or ashamed - knowing how he had treated Scorpius the year before. But Draco reassured him that Scorpius forgave him a long time ago and, truthfully, he didn’t mind watching Harry overcompensate around his son. It was amusing, for one, but he also knew how much Scorpius appreciated it.

Even Albus eventually relented to the shenanigans of his dad and his best friend’s father. It made Scorpius happy. And he was actually enjoying spending time with just the four of them, outside of the chaotic life of the Weasley-Potter family. He only cringed a little bit when his mother found out and only encouraged the foolishness further.

“What a handsome couple,” she crooned, taking in Draco and Harry’s appearances before another of their visits to London. “Oh, Ron will just  _love_  this.”

“Mum!” Albus wailed.

 

* * *

 

Harry and Albus were running late. It wasn’t something that would usually surprise Draco, as the pair was always late. But in an effort to avoid time wasting and complaints from Scorpius that he was hungry and just wanted to  _eat_  already - Draco had endeavoured to schedule their lunches half an hour to an hour earlier than he expected them to arrive, at which time he would casually make his way to the restaurant with his son. If anyone was going to be made to wait, it was definitely Potter.

But as Draco scowled at his watch, he had the overwhelming feeling his scheme had been found out.

“Sorry, Draco, we got held up in Diagon Alley.”

He looked up at the offending Potter and immediately reeled back. “What in Merlin’s name happened to your face?”

His nose was swollen and bloody, clearly broken, although Harry seemed incredibly nonplussed about it as he threw his jacket over the back of a chair and sat down. “What, this? It’s nothing. It was an accident.”

Draco didn’t miss the expression pass Albus’s face as he listened to his father. He looked between the two of them and then frowned. “Do you want me to fix it? I don’t think there’s a lavatory here, but we can go out into the alley around the back - away from the Muggles.”

“What?” Harry laughed. “No, just do it here. They won’t notice.”

It took all of Draco’s self control not to roll his eyes like a child. “Won’t notice me using a spell to set your nose? Don’t be absurd, Potter. The ministry would have my head.”

“You’re sitting across from the Head of Magical Law Enforcement. I’m not going to arrest you. Just do the spell before lunch, and - ow!” Draco had performed the spell under the table. Harry gingerly touched the bridge of his nose and blinked. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Scorpius and I will have the usual. I think we have to pay at the counter.”

“I’ll get it,” Harry insisted, standing up and leaving the table before Draco could protest.

“It wasn’t an accident, you know,” said Albus, and Draco turned to look at him. “He got into a fight.”

Draco scoffed. “I assumed as much. Who, may I ask, earned the pleasure of smacking the Boy-Who-Lived in the face?”

Albus glanced over to ensure that his father wasn’t listening from the counter, before continuing. “Actually, it was a reporter from the Daily Prophet. He was talking about you.”

“Me? What was he saying?”

The teenager winced. “It was - well, some not very nice things. So dad punched him. In front of half of Diagon Alley. I wish mum was there, she could have taken a photo for her column.”

“I don’t think punching journalists counts as a sport, Albus,” Scorpius pointed out. “Unless your mum isn’t working on the sports section anymore?”

“Oh, she is, but she’s branching out. Everyone really liked that column she did last month for the social pages.”

Harry returned to the table, pocketing his wallet before taking a seat next to Draco. “What are you smirking about?” He asked, squinting at him.

“Hmm? Nothing,” he replied, still smiling to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scorpius-king-malfoy.tumblr.com and I have the best cursed child conversations and the one that inspired this was no exception. I was sending snippets from a totally unrelated fic I’m writing, one of us suggested draco and harry embarrassing scorpius and albus, and it sort of just blew up from there. you can read starky’s version of this one-shot over on her blog!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It happened again. A conversation between scorpius-king-malfoy.tumblr.com and I turned into yet another Fake Dads sequel. Introducing Fake Dads 2: The Mummy Returns - or, the Potters and Malfoys go camping because I am currently on a weekend away in the fairly remote outback. We're in a motel, though, because the Australian bush is actually hell. Anyway - enjoy this little snippet and don't forget to check out starky's version of this prompt over on her blog !!

As the evening wore on, and the air grew colder, everyone gravitated towards the fire in the middle of the camping site. Harry and James played a game of chess, Lily curled up under a blanket with her mother, Albus toasted marshmallows with Scorpius, and Draco watched as the skies cleared and the stars came out.  
  
It was refreshing to get out of the manor for a while. The past two years had been stifling. Astoria's passing, Scorpius and Albus's disappearance and all that followed - it made the halls of his home feel like a gaping, lonely place, in ways it had not since the end of the last wizarding war.  
  
He heard a high, delightful laugh fill the air and turned, watching as his son bounced in his seat next to Albus - their faces glowing with mirth and the light of the open fire. Every year it became more and more difficult sending Scorpius back to Hogwarts. He grew so much in the time they were apart. He was already a head taller than Albus, and well on his way to reaching his father's height, but it was always the little ways he had changed that struck Draco when he returned home for the Summer.  
  
He was growing up. And growing further away from him. He hated it. And he hated that he hated it. But Scorpius was his world. And he already knew what it was like to lose him - to almost lose him.  
  
"Fancy a dram?"  
  
Draco looked up as Harry approached, two mugs in one hand and a bottle of firewhiskey in the other. "Why not," he replied, tossing aside a rucksack so that Harry could take a seat next to him.  
  
As he poured the drinks, he followed Draco's gaze to their laughing sons, and smiled knowingly. "I'm glad they're enjoying themselves. Albus usually hates camping."  
  
Draco thought back to the earlier bug repellent debacle and raised an eyebrow. "Really? I hadn't noticed."  
  
They drank their whiskey in silence, watching as Albus tutored Scorpius on toasting marshmallows the muggle way. "Are you okay? You've been quiet since dinner."  
  
Draco frowned, looking over at Harry and taking in his look of concern. "I'm fine."  
  
"I mean, I know you didn't want to come. We sort of - well, we forced you to. It was Ginny and Albus's idea. They ganged up on me," he explained. "If you aren't enjoying yourself, you can always apparate home - I mean, it's not like the portkey is the only way to, uhh, escape."  
  
"Will you shut up, Potter?"  
  
Harry blinked, mouth agape. "Oh. Sorry."  
  
Draco pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long, exasperated sigh. And then he looked back over at Harry. "I'm - grateful you invited me. It's been difficult, without Astoria. More than I care to admit. But Scorpius-" He paused, glancing back over at the gleaming pair of teenagers sitting by the fireside. "He needed this. And - I think I needed it to."  
  
Harry nodded, and made a face.  
  
"Shut up, Potter."  
  
"I didn't say anything?"  
  
"Yes. You did. With your face."  
  
"What does that even-" He stopped, scowled a little, and then drank his firewhiskey in silence.  
  
Draco smiled. And then looked back up at the vast expanse of clear, endless sky - his chest warm with drink and the sound of his son's laughter filling his ears.


End file.
